Late into the night I wrestled a chubby, sleep-fighting wriggler. She stroked my face and giggled while she listed the names of her favorites: “Ah, Momma! Ah, Dadda! Ah, Sis-der! Ah, Mimi! Ah, Zha-Zha! Ah, Pa! Ah, Dake! Ah, Dake (sorry, Josh)! Ah, Essie!”
9:30. 10:30. 11:30. Still she giggled and named. Giggled and named. Giggled and named. Midnight. She finally giggled and slept.
I think this is what I always wanted: snuggling, whispering, hugging, loving, reaching into the depths to give of myself when I feel there’s nothing possibly left to give. I’m grieving and grateful all at once in a messy moment, joyous that I got something I was told I’d never have; heartbroken that another piece of our time together is already gone.
I think this is what it means to not miss your one chance at this life. To know the value of seconds. To yearn for millions more. To rest quietly in the comfort that they are all sovereignly, perfectly numbered.
6:42 felt much too early when a lined morning hand rested gently on my cheek and warm morning breath nuzzled my nose to whisper, “I’m hungry for breakfast, Momma. Let’s make oatmeal before Annie wakes up!”
Yes, Love. Let’s get up– full, grinning faces to the sunshine that floods our hearts with the sacred beauty of more moments to share!
Life is a gift. Time is a treasured commodity. Grab hold of your moments and treasure your days! Let’s not miss it.
I think I’m learning what it means to enjoy today.