I remember the first time I finally caved and demanded, “God, aren’t you going to do ANYTHING???”
Facebook was kind enough to remind me that it was on June 7, 2014. This blog entry shared in my newsfeed that desperate day.
I’d like to tell you that two years ago was the last time I feverishly demanded God to perform an act of His powerful, healing hand. But that’s not true.
Since January 2016, I’ve spent too many days questioning His reasoning and His will, wondering if He’s going to do ANYTHING again! It’s felt like dejavu, remember?
Except this time I’m not a naive new heart mom who doesn’t understand BNP levels. Or whose jaw drops when our cardiologist casually throws out “transplant” with his hand resting tightly on my shoulder. Or who doesn’t know that a milrinone dose puts a failing heart at the top of the waiting list.
Especially since our recent cardiology checkup, I’ve been waiting too hard. Begging too loudly. Asking too often: God, ummm hello up there! It’s me and it’s um Annie. You know heart for Annie????? Like could you GET ON THAT?!
Facebook was kind enough to remind me today that two years ago, on this exact day, I was instructed, “Don’t get too caught up wishing for better days ahead. You better enjoy the ones you have because these are likely the only ones you get.”
Don’t hope too hard for tomorrow, dear mother. And although I did…in many ways I didn’t.
Facebook was kind enough to remind me today that since that shocking, devastating, change-your-entire-summer-and-life announcement I’ve actually had 730 tomorrows.
God was kind enough to remind me today that He actually has been doing something for a little girl named Annie. I hope He keeps reminding me.
To God be the glory.